It may have been Val Kilmer speaking the poetic words of one Doc Holiday in Tombstone, but it’s a fitting description for Boston’s very own, David Ortiz.
I can’t believe I’m gonna say it, but I agree with Canseco, or, at least, feel the same way: unsurprised.
But the hypocrisy of the latest revelation that David Ortiz tested positive, or at the very least was on what can now be referred to simply as, The List, is simply incredible. Ortiz has been named, along with Manny (but seriously, that’s even less surprising) on the same list that began its legened by stripping A-Rod of his baseball lordship.
But the best part, and the proof that anybody is capable of saying and doing anything is right here.
I actually suspected, before the Sox won the Series in ’04, that Ortiz had been dabbling in the ‘roids due to certain comments he made about guys getting busted. About certain provisions that should be made for the latin players because of the language barrier. I got news for you: I speak english relatively well and these six things I don’t even understand:
And my personal favorite: Testosterone Cyclohexypropionate
Stumped? They’re all ‘roids. Of some form or another. So, if somebody who has spoken english as their first language has absolutely no idea what any of that meant, should they too get a “pass” if they’re tested positive?
Or should that be the litmus test for guilt when discussing PED’s?
“Hmm, Mr. Rodriguez, can you say, or give an accurate definition of Cyclohexylpropionate? No? All right, go ‘head and go, you’re fine.”
When I read his comments, and this was a ways back, so forgive me for not posting a link to said comments, I immediately thought he was planning his defense for when he got caught.
But I digress.
I thought that way before I ever took a good gander at his stats.
Almost as shocking as Brady Anderson’s 50-homer season outta nowhere, Ortiz was an overweight (light) slap-hitting no glove firstbaseman for the Twins. He had three full seasons when he did exactly squat (2000, 2001, and 2002) and then he went to Boston. And succeeded in blasting thirty dingers. Then 31. Then 41. Then 47. Then 54.
No red flags at all.
I remember a lot of his turn around being due to Boston’s hitting coach, somebody-Jackson, at a mild adjustment to his stance, opening it a touch allowing him to drive the pitch inside, much like “supplements” and “personal trainers” were attributed to the power surge in the ’90’s.
And I also remember thinking, “Is that so? Then why can’t Mark Bellhorn, Pokey Reese, or Gabe Kapler be anything than more than (below) average hitters?”
Like when you put dirty clothes in the washer and they come out clean.
But the fact that he was stupid enough in February to say if you test positive you should be banned for the year, knowing there was a possibility he could be on The List, is a monumental testament to how narcissistic professional athletes are.
But now Ramirez is helping do even more to tear apart the Boston faithful with the help of Ortiz. At least when Manny wanted out all he was doing was making an *** of himself and disgracing his own legacy.
Now it could be argued that Boston hasn’t won a legitimate championship since, oh, 1918.
Way to go.
I feel bad and I hate the Red Sox.